- i really wish i knew how to hold onto happiness a bit longer. although, i guess, happiness isn’t meant to be held [captive]. that wouldn’t be happiness as much as desperation, right? maybe happiness is like people and things and…
- maybe i just wish my inherent sadness wasn’t so… inherent.
- strange, strange dream: i dreamt about him last night. my him. i dreamt about him— a friend, and i dreamt about her daughter. apparently, in this dream, her daughter was his— my him’s— niece. she called me uncle josh. the three of us were in his apartment and we were putting her to bed. she giggled and told me she loved me after the normal, fun banter i typically have with the little humans. he tucked her in bed and she told him that she loved him. they wrestled lightly and she snuggled her head and her large fro into his neck. it was beautiful. seeing how he loves outside of us is always beautiful.
as he was rising from the bed and turning to smile back at me, the scene changed. next thing i know i am leaned up against the shoulder of my friend. still in my him’s apartment, my friend was reading something. i was being… well… me. it was intimate and familiar but different. he looked down at me and smiled and asked, “do you lean on him like this?” i responded, “Yes.” it bothered him. he tried to hide it. he got up and turned his back to me and as he was turning back to face me, my him’s sleepy grin is what i was greeted with.
- flit, fleet, float, liitle man.
- i’m ready for this new meshell album. i wish lizz wright would find her way to releasing one, too.
- i think i have a date with Reginald Shepherd today, but first i need to finish reading these new chapters i was sent and give my “nothing but great feedback on my feedback” non-editiorial. :)
- just because i hate even numbers.
not sure of the currency, but i am about to spend some shit.